A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
