I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
