$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
