i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
