There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize