Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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