did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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