I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
