My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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