If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
