I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
