i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
