no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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