It's Friday. Sex?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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