her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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