were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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