Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
