Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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