Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Randomize
