Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
