im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize