True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
