hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She's the barista slut.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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