please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
