is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
