New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
