You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
