i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
