I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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