Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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