Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize