you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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