If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
