U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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