question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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