Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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