Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
