Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
honey bunches of taint.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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