i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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