Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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