apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
