Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
