Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I smell like Dick and happiness
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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