I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
