Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
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