At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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