Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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