can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
they need to just BURY HIM!
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
