Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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