what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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