I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
