Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Non-Jews are for practice
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
