So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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