these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
