Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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