I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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