he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
