So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
