Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Couch. On fire.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
