you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
