is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
