Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
